sometimes i wonder how i end up with the friends that i end up with. (jk i wonder this all the time).
like why do i end up being “friends” with people i don’t wholly like. why can’t i be that girl with those three pretty - on the inside and out (yes, i’m being somewhat judgmental) - friends who love to go shopping, who like doing what i like doing, and who i can talk to about whatever with.
i hate it. i don’t understand how i end up with the people i end up with in my life. not saying everyone in my life sucks - there are actually a few whom i absolutely love having in my life. But even then, they’re people who I’m not as close with as I could be.
so i want to join a sorority. i guess to make friends. but that seems stupid. but i would like being in one, besides the whole friends ordeal.
i told myself i’d change coming to college. i’d be more of an outgoing person and reach out to others more and in the end, meet people who would become my best friends.
instead i’ve been pushed into this friend group of people i really don’t like all that much. and the few people i’ve met in classes are the few i’d like to hang out with more. but it’s not that easy when they have their own thing going on, all the time and when you’re not close with them in the first place.
at least i know where i’m going with my life. or where i want to go, at least. i know what i want to do and i’m motivated to do what i have to do in order to get there. i focus myself and my life around that. maybe that’s the problem. maybe i’m too much of a goal/career-oriented person and don’t care that much about making good friends than i do getting to where i want to be in life.
who knows.
let’s just hope next year i make some better friends because there’s no way in hell i’m living with these people the year after.
